I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
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You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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