i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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