maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
