Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
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Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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