I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
