not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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