that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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