went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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