jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't shave. On purpose
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
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Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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