the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
