Kiss
Puke
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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