Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
