Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Who died my cat blue again?
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