My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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