wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
