She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
