I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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