Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Panties = found
Randomize
