your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
