Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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