Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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