Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
