I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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