I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
