If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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