I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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