Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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