After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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