You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
