so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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