I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
