Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
