If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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