So drunk, too bad you don't want this
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
