Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
