I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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