You can't special order awesome
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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