It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
