Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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