I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Come see our sink grown plant.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
