she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
