whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
