I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
