How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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