Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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