Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
