so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
