Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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