hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
