They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
BRING THE BAGELS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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