A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
