So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.