when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
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Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.