You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize