the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018