it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
