I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
