I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
