i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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