oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
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Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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