This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
