just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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