Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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