so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
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It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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