A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
