Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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