there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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