is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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