when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
