Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
