If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize