I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
